Having To Co-Parent While Still Living Together
Divorce is complicated, and in some instances you may have to live in the same house while going through the divorce process. This can be especially tricky if you have children still living with you or younger children you need to parent. Read on to learn more about some tips on co-parenting while living together during a divorce.
Managing A Divorce While You Live In The Same House
Here are some tips to keep in mind if you and your spouse are living together and co-parenting through the divorce process.
Have A Plan
If you and your co-parent are certain about divorce, then it’s essential to start making a plan. The focus should be on the immediate changes that your relationship and family life will be going through. Unfortunately, separating parents often make the mistake of trying to wing it, which can lead to impulsive decisions that result in added stress/anxiety for the children, tension, and unnecessary misunderstandings. Some issues you and your co-parent should start planning for include:
- How long your living arrangements will last
- How you will share care of the kids
- How and when to separate your finances
- How to give each other physical and emotional space
- Formulating a consistent strategy for sharing parenting information
- What your new relationship will be; you will always be parents together, but now it will be a different relationship than marriage
Focus On What You Have In Common
Remember WHY you’re choosing to stay in the same home, even if it’s not your ideal situation. As parents, no matter what disagreements you have, making things easier for the kids will be a top priority. Try to find a guiding principle based on what you have in common, whether that’s solving the children’s problems and anxieties, making sure schedules are in order, or taking care of the children’s education.
You Need Ground Rules
After you have more of an idea of how the logistics will go, you should set some general communication ground rules for co-parenting. Think about how you will behave together around the kids, and set some agreed-upon boundaries for managing disagreements, particularly when the children are involved. Writing these rules down so that you can go back to them in the future can help. Remember, unspoken tension can be just as uncomfortable for children as arguing and fighting, so establish clear communication rules to keep tension at a minimum.
Communicate With Your Children
While co-parenting in a familiar living arrangement gives kids time to adjust to the divorce, it may also cause confusion. Children may wonder why you even need to get a divorce, or if you will continue living together. You need to let your kids know why you’ve chosen to keep living in the same house, if you are planning to move out soon or in the future, and help them understand that though your relationship with your ex has changed, your love for them as parents has not.
Contact Us Today
Divorce is unique in every situation, and sometimes parents need to co-parent while living in the same house. It’s important to communicate clearly with your children and be prepared. BCN Law Firm is a top Florida family law firm. Call BNC Law Firm to consult with an experienced divorce attorney today!
